As cliché as this may sound, your wedding vows have to come from the heart.  It’s true.  After all, it’s the most important day of your life. As soon as he pops the question to marry him and your teary-eyed self says the most important “yes,” your journey to writing these immortal vows begins. It’s not something you compose overnight.  Every now and then, sit in one quite corner of the house and write down your answers to these questions:

• When you were younger, did you picture yourself getting married?  How did you envision it?
• When did you know for sure that you have found the one person you want to marry?
• What was going through your mind when he proposed?
• What are the things you love most about the person you are going to marry?
• How much has this person touched/changed your life?
• How do you see your future together?
• Are there famous quotes you’d like to read to your partner on your wedding day?

Do not be too concerned yet on the length of your answers.  Just keep writing down your thoughts on these questions.

A week or two before the wedding day, begin combining and editing your answers above until it becomes one beautiful masterpiece. Don’t make it too long though, as it will bore everyone, including your spouse.  Practice reading it, sometimes in front of the mirror, so you’ll learn to make eye contact with your partner.  I don’t recommend you memorize it because with the overwhelming emotions, you might end up forgetting or missing important lines.  Just write it on a piece of paper and keep it safe in your pouch/pocket.

If the Church does not allow you to read your own wedding vows, don’t be discouraged.  You could just have a special part in your reception program where you could read your vows to each other.  After the wedding, I suggest you ask a calligrapher to write it on a special paper (separate for the bride and for the groom).  Have them framed and then hang them in your new home.  It will be a reminder everyday of your love for each other.

You need to first have a heart to heart talk with your fiancé about this. Tell him how much you love your future mother in law and how much you appreciate her involvement in the wedding preparations, but also explain to him how important it is to make your own choices as a couple, deciding on how you want your wedding to look, feel and be.  You will need his help to get your message across to her.

If there’s anybody who knows how to best talk to her, it’s your fiancé.  Eventually, you will have to sit down with her (but not in an intervention kind of way) and have a relaxed, casual discussion on the wedding details.  Hear her out. She may have wonderful ideas that might interest you.  Don’t make her feel like all her suggestions are not welcome.  If there’s something you disagree on, let your fiancé take the lead in clearly explaining your side.  I’m sure your future MIL has the best intentions, and her wanting to make everything grand is because she truly loves the both of you and is overwhelmed with pride and joy. I feel for you.  It’s your wedding.  But you also have to learn to compromise, especially in this situation.

Remember, marriage also means the union of two families, so you’ll definitely be seeing more of her.  You don’t want your married life to start on the wrong foot.

Civil Requirement: Marriage License

A Marriage License is a requirement for either a Civil or Church wedding to be held in the Philippines. The Application Form is available at the Local Civil Registrar from the city or municipality where either the bride or the groom resides. The personal appearance of those getting married is required in applying for a marriage license.

A ten-day waiting period from the filing of the Application to the issuance of the marriage license is prescribed by the law. The license is valid for 120 days from date of issuance and may be used anywhere in the Philippines.

In availing the Marriage License, both the bride and groom must submit the following documents

1. Birth Certificate – Certified True Copy required with the respective registry number. This document is issued by the National Statistics Office (NSO).
2. Parents’ Consent (for 18-21 years old) or Parent’s Advice (for 21-25 years old)
3. Certificate of Attendance in a pre-marital counseling and family planning seminar conducted by the City or Municipal Health Office in the same municipality or city where the bride and groom applied for the marriage license.
   For Foreigners: Philippine law requires a citizen of a foreign country to obtain a Certificate of Legal Capacity to Contract Marriage. It is issued by the diplomatic or consular offices of his or her country, prior to the issuance of a marriage license in the Philippines. This serves as a clearance or permit from the consul as an actual proof of the citizen’s civil status and his/her eligibility for marriage.
4. CENOMAR. A Certificate of No Marriage Record is a certification issued by the National Statistics Office (NSO) stating that a person has not contracted marriage.

General Catholic Church Requirements

1. Baptismal and Confirmation Certificates of the Bride and the Groom:   These must be new copies and must have an annotation: “FOR MARRIAGE PURPOSES ONLY” and must have been secured not more than four (4) months before the date of marriage.
   FOR MIXED MARRIAGE (different religions): a dispensation must be secured from the Archdiocese Office or Chancery.
2. Marriage License. This must have been secured within 120 days before the wedding date. For those who are civilly married, a certified true photocopy of the Marriage Contract with the registry number of the city or town where the marriage was performed.
3. Canonical Interview: This interview with the bride and the groom will be done within one or two months before the wedding and will be conducted by the parish priest or his assistant. The schedule will be given by the church administrator.
4. Pre-Marriage or Pre-Cana Seminar: Although not all churches require this, but if required, both the bride and the groom have to attend this.  The schedule for the seminar will be given by the church administrator.  Some churches will allow you to attend other pre-wedding seminars. (Ex. at CEFAM; Catholic Engaged Encounter; Discovery Weekend).
5. Marriage Banns: The forms will be provided by the church where marriage will take place, and have to be brought to the respective parishes of the bride and the groom for posting. These have to be returned to the church after three Sundays duly accomplished and signed.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————-